The Need for Sexual Deviance.

You want me to put what where? Perhaps that's what a certain Hall and Oates song was about...

You want me to put what where? Perhaps that’s what a certain Hall and Oates song was about…

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie is arriving in theaters this Valentines Day. It’s not that countless women haven’t already read the book, but a major motion picture has the odd effect of validating any idea into mass acceptance. Perhaps reading is a closet activity, and movies are a way of coming out. Regardless, what’s considered to be normal American sexuality is about to get an upending.

Sexual deviance has been around as long as humans have been twerking. Deviance may be defined as any atypical sexual relations. Binding, pain, and abnormal procedures are frequently involved. But why is it necessary? I hypothesize various reasons for such behavior.

1. Control.

Some folks genuinely embrace the role of a becoming a dominatrix or a slave. For a myriad of reasons I personally cannot comprehend yet psychologists attempt to explain, certain men and women enjoy being tied up, bound, whipped, and ultimately controlled; while others thrive in controlling a situation. With few exceptions, I’ve found many of these people aren’t necessarily the beautiful and powerful people you’ll see in that movie. They’re typically the antisocial outliers — society’s outcasts. Fortunately, they’ve found each other over the internet, avoiding many potentially uncomfortable or illegal situations. This situation has to be mutually agreeable.

2. Boredom.

After several years in a monogamous relationship, the missionary position becomes mundane. There are only so many Kama Sutra positions you can explore comfortably, especially as you age. Deviance offers an escape from the ordinary. Done tastefully and with trust, a little deviance can offer an interesting alternative to intercourse in a monogamous relationship.

3. Curiosity.

Books, movies, radio programs, gossip all add to the curiosity factor. After all, how can you know if you would not enjoy something if you have not explored it? Trust is very important while exploring deviance. 

I have to admit that I have delved into deviance, but only slightly and very briefly. Personally, the notion and procedures made me slightly uncomfortable. But looking back, I now realize I did not completely trust my partner, and that’s a huge factor.

Perhaps its time to open that chapter once again. Honey? Can we talk?

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