The Truth About Women

This has been going on long enough. Now that my son is dating, I needed to give him a leg up with all these crazy women who will compete for his time, money, and resources. There is no way I am going to let him go through the hell I went through! I had to think through my advice, and BOOM – here comes the book.

For example – women tend to become their first names. I know, it seems odd, but more often than not it’s true! Take the name “Cheryl” for example. Tell me if you don’t think this is true:

In a word: Narcissist.

The origin of this name is unclear. Some folks swear it’s the female version of Charles, but Charlotte seems much closer to that name. Other people guess that this name was derived from Cherie. Personally, I believe some idiot pulled it out of her ass in a drunken stupor while trying to say “Milton Berle choked Meryl Streep,” and somehow, the accidental slur just stuck.

Cheryl reminds me of that ugly no-nose villain in those kid wizard movies. I had a difficult time simply typing this repugnant bitch’s name. As a matter of fact, if you looked up the word narcissistic in the dictionary, a less-than-flattering picture of this girl’s face would be permanently plastered next to the definition. This is the type of misandrist who, if she wants a cat, despite knowing you are deathly allergic to cats, will get two cats in case the first one wasn’t enough. Apparently, it’s your fault that you’re allergic to cats, so you should just deal with asphyxiation or go get shots. It’s all about her, or it doesn’t exist. If you don’t believe me, simply check her bookshelf yourself. Don’t be surprised when you find the following titles:

  • He’s Just Not That Into You, But It’s Cool To Be Into Yourself, Bitch
  • Women Are From Venus, Men are from… Who Fucking Cares. I Hate Men
  • Your 1,500th Bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul. This One Won’t Work Either, It’s Cold

In my travels, I have found that smokers are more apt to sexually active relationships. And every Voldemort I’ve ever met smokes something, whether she admits it or not. Tag it and bag it. It’ll get stale soon enough.

Ironically, this princess has it in her head that she is a promiscuous goddess who could make any man come by merely looking at him. But this bitch is more like a body pillow in bed; just hanging around in the missionary position hoping to have an orgasm, but not really helping. Don’t worry, she won’t be terribly disappointed if she doesn’t come. And she won’t really care if you don’t, either.

Voldemort won’t be an overachiever; she’s happy with the simple things in life. This is a perfect lackluster chick for a punching bag – be that a big fat redneck or a dorky geek with no social skills.

SEE? It’s uncanny! The new book deciphers more than 100 male and female names.

I have issued some sneak-preview videos you can watch right now. Have a look and listen, and stay tuned for this amazing book (hits the shelves this November, just in time for the holiday season).

How To Figure Out A Women from her HAIRSTYLE:

How To Figure Out A Woman From Her FIRST NAME:

The Real Reason Women Have CHILDREN:

Why Men Should ALWAYS Avoid Women With CATS:

Best and Worst Places to MEET WOMEN:

Sexual Assault at America’s Colleges


Teen Vogue seems to be America’s authority on all things, well, teen. You know, like  really important things — like what Willow Smith is up to. That some no one named Zendaya is approving certain prom dresses. And God forbid you’re not up on whatever the Kardashians are doing these days. On a slow teen news week, here’s what they reported.

One in five women will be sexually assaulted during their college tenures. And it’s estimated that 95% of sexual assaults on campus go unreported, meaning the majority of victims don’t get the help and support they need, and the perpetrators don’t get punished. It’s an epidemic, and it’s up to all of us to help stop it.

Statistics are a funny thing. Supposedly, Vice President Joe Biden mentioned this statistic in 2014. What he did not mention was that statistic was found in some 2007 government sanctioned study titled The Campus Sexual Assault Study, which was conducted for the Justice Department’s National Institute of Justice. The researchers, led by Christopher Krebs of RTI International, also surveyed men. The statistic cited by Biden only focuses on women, because apparently that’s more interesting.

Due diligence requires that we go even further back, because the actual data was compiled between 2005 and 2007. In the winter of 2006, perhaps as a last-minute hail mary, Mr. Kreb’s researchers used a Web-based survey to interview undergraduates at two large public universities, one in the Midwest and one in the South. A total of 5,446 undergraduate women, between the ages of 18-25, participated as part of a random sample. The survey was anonymous and took about 15 minutes to complete. Participants were bribed with a $10 certificate.

Soooo… back in 2005, more than a DECADE ago, certain bribed Midwestern and Southern women (at only two colleges) reported that they may or may not have been sexually assaulted. The Washington Post reported these results clearly can be generalized to those two large four-year southern universities, but not necessarily elsewhere. Moreover, although the results were technically statistically significant, the response rate was relatively low, and there was no indication if the assaulters were actually students or non-student visitors. We should also mention that the word “assaulted” itself is a moving target, and its definition has undoubtedly changed in the past eleven years. Smells like we need to put Mr. Krebs back to work in 2016. One in five is an alarmist statistic. I would venture to say many of these 20 percenters were skanky 2005 southern party girls who were either outright lying, defined “assault” a little too loosely, or, most likely, were involved in a completely consensual act but then forgot or changed their minds at some point after their drunken escapades were over. My educated guess is that on a national level, with a much more robust survey, legitimate female assaultees would be much closer to 4-5 percent, with men’s results even lower. Still unacceptable, but not quite as alarmist.

Look, I have daughters in college, and in no way intend to defend any sort of sexual assault, whether it’s against males or females. To me, assault is adamant to rape. But 20% of all college women are complaining they’ve been assaulted or abused? Frankly, that seems a bit high. Sure, there are plenty of dickhead guys in college who are a little too aggressive. Most guys are well aware of the word NO, but unfortunately there are those men who don’t care. Sexual assault is wrong. It must be stopped, always reported, and investigated thoroughly.

Here’s how to stop sexual assault on college campuses once and for all, college administrators. You won’t like it, students won’t like it, and politicians are not allowed to like it publicly, but these methods have been proven effective — globally.

  1. Issue a firm campus dress code. Define it visually, citing photographic examples of disallowed styles. Fine or expel women who wear clothing that is too suggestive. Admit it, ladies – the only reason you dress like a slut is to get male attention. We’re not stupid.
  2. Ban all unsanctioned or unsupervised college parties. College is an institution of learning, not partying. Unbridled adolescents and alcoholic beverages is always a recipe for disaster. 
  3. Issue a firm campus-wide curfew. There’s no reason a group of scantily-clad 20-year-old males or females should be running around giggling after 1 AM.

It’s ironic that we protect prisoners, airplanes, and military installations better than we protect our children. Colleges should be gated off at least as well as airports. Students, faculty, and guests should be frisked, scanned, and identified before entering any campus. Assaulters, rapists, drug dealers, and other bad influencers have no business on college property.

There’s not much you can do about off-campus parties. That’s a parent’s responsibility. Mom and Dad, if you love your children, make sure they commute, or buck-up for on-campus housing. I lived at home during college, and it didn’t kill me. And I was never assaulted.

Sloppy Seconds.

As I sat in the sun on my hotel’s pool deck in Key West on a perfect February afternoon watching scads of scantily clad women sporting gaudy diamonds on the third finger of their left hands who obviously married for money, I began to think – what is the longest run-on sentence I could construct? Besides that, I wondered who those women were. Being the inquisitive sort, I asked several of them, informing them I was writing a book on the perfect marriage. Some were quite forthcoming when they  found I was buying drinks, and especially after invoking my gay lisp while flaunting my daughter’s fake Michael Kors manpurse. I’ve found almost any woman will open up to a gay man faster than the legs of a cheap Filipino whore. Contrary to what you might believe, you don’t have to be gay to hang out in Key West. Sure, there are a large contingent of homosexual men, but every major metropolis has the same situation. Honestly, I’ll take a gay man over a bitchy princess anytime – those guys are incredibly fun! Anyway, here’s what I learned.

Surprisingly, many of these women told different variations of the same story. Histories as former beauty queens were quite common. Most made a really big deal about high school glory days. Prom queens. Homecoming queens. Cheerleaders. Some admitted they knew men longed, swooned, fantasized, and fought for them back in the day. Others bragged about commanding only the best looking jocks. One woman, wearing a little too much makeup and an obscene amount of perfume, told me she had her choice of any man or woman in her tiny circle of immaturity as she put her hand on my leg and whispered dangerously close. Check please.

I noticed many of these women seemed to be frozen in time. Not style-wise, like that woman many of us know with the Pat Benetar haircut still wearing neon tie-dies and leg warmers, but mentally. Some never escaped their high school mindset. The beauty queen persona was set in stone, and 20, 30, even 40 years later, the woman she sees in the mirror today is that same wrinkle-free, perfect skin girl she was her senior year of high school. Honestly, the superiority complex I had witnessed seventeen times that day seemed quite disturbing the more I got into this. My sample is small and not statistically significant, but the age and geographic distribution provided enough information to develop yet another thought provoking theory.

In Key West, I only spoke with women who exhibited a certain savoir faire, knowing these women were a minority subset of those I really needed to interview. I wondered about the majority of former beauty queens who were more psychologically intact, and especially those who realized they had fallen from grace. Those who once possessed unwieldy power to scorn those not blessed with what is typically considered beauty, often to the point of driving another woman (or man) to a semester, a year, a four-year term, or sometimes a lifetime of disillusionment and even depression. I wondered if the normies realized they too were mere mortals, finding they’re not much different than any other of today’s average PTA mom. What effect would this realization have on their psyche?

A close friend of mine married one of these women when she entered free agency. She straddled the line somewhere between superiority and normalcy, slanting slightly towards the former. Her first marriage to the high school star athlete crashed and burned after five years and two offspring. She had put on a few pounds, and as blondes know, life is much more harsh to fair-haired women when it comes to wrinkles. The extra weight helped fill her crows feet a bit. But she strutted when she walked, almost always in heels, and dressed to impress. My buddy was infatuated from first sight. She was a very demanding woman, attending every function she could with other like-minded socialites in her sleepy town, always wearing the latest fashions, and eschewing her Coach handbag for Michael Kors whenever that switch became appropriate. He still thinks she’s stunning. I think he needs a new pair of glasses. To me, she looks exactly like any other middle school bimbo mother who’s trying much to hard to hang on to the last threads of a youth long gone.

Beauty is most certainly in the eye of the beholder. What floats my buddy’s boat is a much more salty brine. He’s not nearly as experienced, cerebral, or cynical as I am. Wisdom has shown me that true beauty is inside a person and can be found through a positive and supportive attitude. My girl is certainly no slouch in the looks department, but she is an undeniably beautiful person. Further, those who try a bit too hard to enhance their appearance and attract attention usually won’t display an attractive personality. Perhaps that’s what bothers me about my buddy’s girlfriend, almost to the point of being repulsive.

So gentlemen, before you pursue that chick at the pool who’s desperately trying to hang on to youth and is persuaded more by material things than by true happiness, ask yourself one question: do you really want to settle for sloppy seconds?



The Mail Order Bride.


Photo by Đàm Tướng Quân from Pexels

Fred (name changed) is a retired Air Force guy who ranked pretty highly before he retired nearly 20 years ago. Apparently, when you retire from the military, you get a large chunk of your final salary as a perpetual pension payment for the rest of your life. It’s a pretty sweet deal — it’s no wonder America is so broke. Fred’s wife divorced him several years back, which I understand is unfortunately common for military wives, considering all the travel and PTSD. It’s not an easy life. Fred says he’s not at all bothered by his divorce, as he utters a few choice words about his ex that I’m afraid to repeat. He says it was a good thing, and sums it up to having a “rusty old ball and chain” removed from his leg so he can “soar like a bird” during his golden years.


Fred was lonely. After striking out in the paltry local scene — the suburbs of a large military base with literally thousands of similar aged men in his situation — Fred set out to find some companionship. He had a sizable bank account, as he resided in a tiny home he paid off many years ago, drove a 20 year-old Crown Victoria, and rarely spent anything. The world was filled with options. And what kept resonating in his mind were the whores who serviced him years ago while stationed in the Philippine Islands.

“They seemed so young, happy, beautiful, and…” I cringed as I waited for it… “Submissive.” There it was — the typical long-held American stereotype for any Asian woman. Obviously, a Filipina whore is going to act submissive because you’re paying her to be submissive. It’s all about marketing. If she fulfills your fucked up fantasies, you’ll be back for more. Fred told me about several friends who brought their new Filipina friends home and married them. Twenty some years later, only one couple was still together. And that guy is never home, still doing “consulting” work for the military in the Philippines. She stays home to take care of the house. Fred remarked that Filipina women become accustomed to American culture, and that somehow ruins them and “turns them into bitches.” Regardless of these experiences, Fred still held strong to his fantasy, and firmly believed there was a perfect non-Filipina Asian woman waiting for him. Somewhere. And Fred was going to find her.

So what’s an aspiring 70 year-old guy to do? Go online and find him a wife! Fred signed up for a certain Asian dating website, and was careful to avoid Filipina women. After a brief “free trial,” bought credits that enabled him to immediately begin to correspond with a gorgeous 26 year-old Chinese woman. Several eight dollar emails later, Fred asked me to help him ship his new online love a brand new laptop computer, since she was supposedly corresponding from an internet cafe. Since there’s such a vast time difference, Fred didn’t feel she was safe at the cafe, so Fred also sent her money to get an internet connection in her home, where she lived with her elderly parents. My practicality softly attempted to caution him against this sort of behavior, but there was no stopping Fred and his quest. I began to mildly panic as alarms and sirens were going off inside my head. But who am I to stand between a man and his perceived happiness? He wrote her a check for $500 and slipped it into the laptop box with a Post-it note that said “I love you.” I told him he’d need to fill out customs forms and take his package to the post office, hoping that pain in the ass fiasco might slow him down. No such luck.

A couple weeks passed, and Fred stopped in to visit. He seemed cheery, but that was an act. After digging a bit, he admitted that his Chinese girlfriend “mysteriously disappeared” and was no longer on the dating website. But that did not deter Fred. He found a service through a friend that takes men to several Asian countries and sets up real dates with real Asian women who are looking to emigrate to America. I couldn’t believe there was such a service, but sure enough, these exist. And not just for American men searching for Asian brides. Domestic companies have set up shop with tours to Brazil, Columbia, Mexico, Russia, Ukraine, and even the Dominican Republic that operate under a tourist guise. They’ll typically set up a meeting in a hotel among usually older fee-paying American men and a healthy group of much younger local women who are looking for love that only an older American man can provide — or more likely, an American meal ticket. If couples agree they’ve found something they like, payments and visas are set up, and the man returns in several weeks to bring his bride back home. Fred went to China.

Fred got back and was elated. This time, she was real. He had several pictures of the two of them in a hotel room, some in lingerie. Honestly, she was pretty hot – way above his pay grade. I asked how old this one was, and Fred told me she was 31. “A little more mature,” he remarked. And this time, she was Chinese — “no more of that Filipina problem” of which Fred seemed to be an expert. Fred began to call Filipinas “damaged Asians.” About eight weeks or so later, Fred returned to China to pick up his bride and return her on an engagement visa. They were supposed to get married here. I was looking forward to performing the ceremony, as I am a an ordained minister and a notary.

I haven’t seen Fred since his return trip. I’ve asked around to see if any of his co-workers had heard from him, but no one had spoken with Fred. The mailman did have a clue – said there was a forwarding address somewhere in California. I suppose Fred found the love of his life, and one of them decided Fred wanted to live in Cali.

After Fred’s experience, I began to notice my area had an abundance of American-Asian couples, mostly older men with younger brides. My naivete previously led me to believe these were adopted daughters. I began to evaluate the disconnect that causes a man to travel across the world to find love; and also the one that causes a woman to permanently leave her home and family behind. There are several psychological and monetary flaws at work here that can’t possibly lead to true happiness.

Or can they?

For more on the reality side of things, visit these sites:

Why White Women Date Black Men

Best dating book ever

The first and only book to tell the truth about women, dating, first names, and sex.

Great news – this blog has finally become a book! For more surprising and stunning insights into women, and relationships, read or listen to THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK – THE TRUTH ABOUT WOMEN. This book has been banned in 46 countries, so get it here while you still can! Coming soon as an audiobook to Audible. Now, back to the fun.

Why do you see a growing number of white women with black men, but not much of the opposite? There is something strange going on. In my non-scientific observations, it appears there is at least a 30-1 ratio. But why is this situation so lopsided? Even popular television shows like Parenthood and Satisfaction have created story lines where white teenage girls fall for African-American boys. Ironically, it never seems to work out, even on television. But why the sudden Jungle Fever fascination?

If you haven’t experienced this phenomenon for yourself, your first thought may be the penis size myth. Sorry, my African-American brethren, but most of you have more short-dick European DNA than you think. African descendent men have largely cross-bred with Caucasian races since the first slave ship reached Jamestown in 1619, so the average size of black men is pretty close to that of the white population. As a matter of fact, global studies have shown pure Africans tend to be closer to average also. This idea perpetuates stereotypes of black men that started when Europeans first set foot in Africa in the sixteenth century. Europeans believed that Africans were a people without God and therefore sexually uncontrollable. Their purported anatomy and inclinations supposedly enticed white women, and is still propagated by black men even today. White men used that awful N word to put their brothers down, and black men retaliated with this rumor, which is much more effective.


Statistically speaking, according to the United States Census, roughly 13% of the American populace is “black alone” – meaning they consider themselves purely African-American. Going with that stat, and the common assumption that males to females is pretty much 1:1 between the ages of 15-64 across all races, you’d assume there’s someone for everyone across most races. Except if you’re of Middle Eastern or Indian descent, where it’s practically a sin to birth a female. So let’s dig into this. My questions were – why are all these brothers going vanilla instead of chocolate, and what are the disproportionate amount of black women doing?

First, for those of you who refuse to read beyond headlines or pictures, you probably didn’t get this far anyway. But just in case there is a shit storm, please let your sisters know that I personally don’t have a problem with interracial relationships. Many of my closest friends — black, yellow, and peach — have dabbled in various colors. I have too. My light-skinned honey Tonya was the woman I should have married, but I was too naive to realize that in my 20s. As a matter of fact, a yellow world would solve a whole lot of human problems, especially here in Murica.

As a popular nightclub DJ in Philadelphia and New Jersey during the 1990s, I witnessed what I considered the beginning of this movement. Let’s take a look at the observations I’ve made over the past two decades about Caucasian ladies who prefer a dark-skinned man. I used to think it was strictly a New Jersey thing, because Jersey is so completely f-ed up irreparably in a number of ways, but that is certainly not the case. Jersey is more normal than I could have ever guessed. Anyway, here’s what I’ve noticed.


No offense intended, Jennifer, Mary, and Susan, but with few exceptions, white women who hook up with darker-skinned black men aren’t typically the best looking white women. Again, there are exceptions, but most interracial daters are slightly overweight women who don’t spend much time on makeup or hair. It is absolutely true that brothers do love much back – for the uninitiated white suburban SAH, that means a large and curvaceous ass. Why? Beats me. That’s a psychological curiosity for another day. Many interracial daters prefer to pull their hair back into an obscenely tight bun or corn rows of some sort, ostensibly because it resembles the look of a typical African-American woman. Not sure why this is a thing, because DeDandre obviously doesn’t like black women’s hair, or we wouldn’t be talking about this. But whatever. These Caucasian women were most likely discarded at some point by not-so-nice Caucasian men due to various personality defects (on either side).

In some cases, a reason for interracial dating may involve a parental defect. The Caucasian girl abhors her parents, and what better way to piss off Bill and Barbara than by bringing a black man home for a holiday dinner. Their typical redneck Caucasian friends and neighbors now have the ammunition to sling mud for decades. She wins the battle easily — her parents will have to move for sure.

Or, perhaps the local area availability of suitable Caucasian options may be thin, especially if parents don’t live in a socioeconomically advantageous area, or if you have attended a “diverse” school. Peer pressure drives the acceptance of cross-race dating, regardless of parental influence.

Of course we’re simply skimming the surface of the sea of reasons why white women visit the dark side. Mom and Dad, honestly, it’s really no big deal.


But what about the brother’s perspective? Why would an African-American man eschew his own culture and date a white girl?

My observations show brothers who date white women, with obvious exceptions, tend to be suburban, gainfully employed, and upwardly mobile. In other words, they’re just like anyone else in the burbs, other than the color of their skin. You may find it surprising that in many situations, a Jamal may be a much better catch than a Jerry for any woman. Black men also have quite a few personality advantages that seem quite attractive to women, including an aversion to typical Euro-douchebaggery including hockey, hunting, and NASCAR.

Thanks to America’s evil European land-granted ancestors and their still wealthy descendants, typical African-American men have been playing societal catch up for hundreds of years. It’s understandable that they want to feel at least equal if not superior to their Caucasian counterparts. This is one of the reasons that many people, black and white, crave designer labels and luxury cars. And dating the white prize helps certain African-American men feel privileged, as if they’ve finally been accepted into the Euro-Caucasian dominated culture.

I still haven’t figured out why certain youngsters, both white and black, wear their pants below their asscheeks, but we’ll save that too for another discussion.


Here’s where I always run into trouble. I truly feel for Tasheka and all the other discarded African-American women. They gotta be mad as hell that all these fine-looking brothers are hooking up with some nappy-looking white women.

But, from what I’ve heard firsthand from my own black friends, there is a very good chance that African-American men had one or more bad experiences with a black woman. I’ve known several black women who seemed to have a seriously bad attitude towards, well, everything. I can vouch that black women are quite opinionated, argumentative, and, at times, ridiculously demanding — qualities not unseen in typical asexual feminists. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but most men tend to appreciate the path of least resistance. A typical average-looking white woman with a few extra pounds seems to be much more laid back than almost any black woman.

Finally, there are many African-American men and women who migrated to the suburbs or more segregated areas in a metropolis, and grew up with more of the typical American white influence. These are the kids who grew up with music played on instruments rather than drum machines, and who appreciate the artistry and legitimate musicianship of people like Lenny Kravitz, Prince, and Darius Rucker rather than drum loops and senseless narcissistic lyrics spewed by the likes of Tupac and Jay Z. African-American men and women who have assimilated into typical Caucasian-dominated mainstream suburban culture are more apt to cross racial lines in friendships and relationships.

On the flip side, yo, there are quite a few black women who prefer dating white men. Unfortunately, this situation doesn’t seem to come close to representing the numbers of the converse situation just yet. That would certainly help the overall acceptance of colorblind relationships. Anyway, here’s what I’ve noticed about black women who prefer white guys.

A black woman who dates a white guy tends to be much more agreeable and accepting than her sisters. She’s a heartbeat away from being a Valley Girl herself, but it seems to be an act. A black woman who has a higher education is more likely to date a white man. Why? I honestly have no idea, but I guess it’s most likely a socioeconomic thing.

Her hair may be straightened, and she’ll dress like a prep.  Most likely, she’ll have a more common white name like Cheryl or Natalie rather than Tamika or Tonisha. As I sat at a bar in Las Vegas recently, talking with two mixed couples ironically on either side of me at the bar, I also realized black women who date white men tend to be extremely extroverted and open-minded. Both were loud and involved in everyone’s conversations. They exchanged phone numbers. To the older more conservative looking white man’s dismay, his date befriended a gay male couple sitting across from her. He looked extremely perturbed and completely ignored them. His date exchanged hugs and phone numbers with them as her date steamed. I didn’t particularly care for that douchebag.

Now, here’s the unfortunate part. I have noticed a disproportionate subset of the white men who prefer black women are typically nerdy dorks. Think video gamers, introverted engineers, Anime collectors, or devoted Star Wars fans. Caucasian men who date African-American women may have given up on white women. They’ve typically been stuck in a small social group and failed miserably. These white men typically bring those failed aspirations to their mixed relationship, ostensibly hopeful that these black women have lesser standards, which is certainly not the case.

And then there are the groups of privileged dweebs who feel guilt for their slave-owning ancestors. These are the Starbucks guys, hipsters who, with little effort, and hell-bent on changing the world for all the wrong reasons. I’m sure you can guess why these guys may not be the best investment for a long-term relationship.

Interracial dating is a big thing today. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s not for everyone. If you’re not really into it, don’t try it just to try it – playing with people’s hearts isn’t a nice thing to do.

What have you noticed that you have found interesting? For more of my thrilling insights into men, women, dating, and parenting, pick up my one of my books here.